Today is the second snowy day of November, a perfect day to avoid avoiding. The trees outside my window are dressed in white, and the soft light reflects off the yard, making everything feel calm. The stillness reminds me to slow down, step outside, and notice what’s right here. Even a few minutes outdoors feels like a gentle reset for my thoughts before I write.
Over the years, I’ve used social media to express myself and share my passions. Sometimes I found the sense of community I was looking for, and other times I did not.
When I was making glass beads in the Hungerford Building in Rochester, New York, my audience grew from First Friday gallery nights and local festivals. People interacted with me on social media, responded to my work, and connected in meaningful ways. Later, while battling severe cystic acne, I documented my fourteen-month journey to clear my skin with Accutane. Those were moments of genuine connection. I had energy to engage, and everything seemed to flow naturally more often than not.
For a long time now, things have felt different. The reward of being online has faded. My posting has been inconsistent, my focus scattered. I delete things, then try to start again. Algorithms do not appreciate that kind of pattern, and social media has begun to feel more exhausting than inspiring. Even when I had a good start on TikTok, the drive to feed the platform faded quickly. Too many accounts and too little enthusiasm made it hard to reach the right audience. I’d post not out of joy, but because I felt like I should.
This week’s DBT homework is about values—seeing what truly matters and what stands in the way. I am trying my best to understand what it really means to avoid avoiding.
When Social Media Once Felt More Natural
There was a time when social media felt easy, not always, but much easier than now. I showed up, shared my art, and connected with people who cared. Numbers and algorithms didn’t seem to matter as much. Expression and connection mattered most.
Back then, everything came naturally. I didn’t plan every post or worry about engagement. Creating was fun, and the energy I put out came back in kind. When something grows from a place of joy, people can feel it. Or maybe it was because I had a public studio and it was easier to become inspired.
Looking back, I notice how much energy and curiosity I had. There was excitement, not a constant feeling of pressure. There were genuine face-to-face relationships. I was marching to the beat of my own drum, not racing to keep up with trends. I was simply sharing a part of my world, and things unfolded naturally. That was enough.
It’s a lot like the seasons shifting—the bright fall colors fading, the quiet snow settling in. Everything feels slower now, but maybe that’s not a bad thing. This season of stillness is a chance to listen to what I need most.
The Turning Point When Connection Became Exhaustion
Severe brain fog changed me after 2022. Staying online began to feel like work without reward. I would post, then delete. I would plan, then lose focus. Restarting had become a habit that left me feeling defeated. In the past, I struggled with these patterns sometimes, but not like this.
The joy of sharing turned into pressure to perform. Algorithms reward consistency, but I didn’t have the energy to keep up. Each time I opened an app, a wave of fatigue followed instead of inspiration.
Creating content is still something I love deeply at times, but managing too many platforms took over the time I needed to make things work. Realizing that imbalance made me pause and ask: What am I really doing all of this for? I need to accept my mental health as it is and release some of the pressure I’ve been carrying.
Sometimes I stand by the creek that runs through the yard and watch how it moves—steady and clear. It reminds me that flow doesn’t have to be forced. It just finds its path naturally.
Too Many Platforms
Many people believe that more accounts mean more success. I once did too. Social media success depends on consistency, priorities, energy levels, and so much more. For me, less is more.
I tried juggling Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, and my blog all at once. Each platform demanded focus, creativity, and emotional energy. Instead of feeling connected, I felt divided. Half-efforts on every platform replaced full attention on a few.
Eventually, it became clear that I was chasing an idea of success that didn’t match my values. Multiple platforms do not always equal growth. What I need most is to sew for myself, spend time with my family and chickens, without feeling like I have to document everything. I want to live in the here and now. Focusing on fewer outlets is essential.
Out back, there’s an old shed repaired with a door my husband made. It creaks in the wind and makes me smile every time I see it. Somehow, it feels like a symbol of us—imperfect and still standing strong.
Learning to Avoid Avoiding What Matters
In DBT, the concept of “avoid avoiding” means facing what you would rather escape. For me, that has meant confronting old habits and patterns. Letting go of extra accounts is difficult, yet deeply necessary.
Distraction often feels safer than focus. Having multiple accounts gave me a false sense of productivity even when I was standing still. It took time to admit that truth.
By focusing on fewer platforms, I can keep up with the ones that matter most to me with far less anxiety. I do not know what will come next, but for now this path feels honest and aligned with who I am.
Outside, everything is quiet except for the soft sound of snow falling. The peacefulness of nature feels like the balance I’ve been searching for—no noise, no notifications, just the gentle rhythm of the day.
Simplifying to Find Real Passion Again
Two days ago, I deleted three social media platforms, and something shifted. The weight I had been carrying was too heavy; my hope is to feel lighter. Will this provide me with more energy to do the work I care about most?
The phrase “less is more” has always resonated with me. Simplicity gives me room to enjoy the process again. YouTube, Pinterest, and my blog still bring meaning and excitement. These are the places where I can create at my own pace most comfortably. These are the spaces where I will share myself online.
Uncertainty remains. These extra accounts were only part of the burden I feel. What matters most is doing things that fit where I am in life. I am taking steps to make sure I don’t wander too far from self-care and self-compassion.
From my sewing studio window, I can see my neighbor’s orchard, dusted in snow, each branch taking on new form. It feels like a quiet lesson in patience, in letting things rest before they bloom again.
Avoid Avoiding the Truth About Brain Fog
Learning to notice what is not working and choosing to care for myself before I reach a breaking point is a challenge worth taking on.
For months, I pushed myself to make content on platforms I no longer felt good about. I thought more effort would fix my lack of energy, but it only made my brain fog worse. Admitting I have brain fog is only part of the solution—it’s a turning point. I have to accept this reality and engage in activities that improve my cognitive functioning.
Deleting a few accounts is not giving up. I still believe I have potential on YouTube and Pinterest. Letting go of Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok creates the space I need to breathe again. Sometimes stepping back is what allows true progress to begin.
The chickens cluck softly with curiosity. Their simple rhythm of life reminds me that meaning can come from small, steady acts of care.
Rebuilding with Intention and Curiosity
My approach looks different now. Instead of guessing what people want, I focus on what feels right to me. Quality matters more than quantity, but I don’t want to be a harsh critic when it comes to quality either. Living in the here and now matters more than anything else.
This shift is just one small step, one value to assess. By clearing space, I give myself a chance to grow in a way that feels real. There is freedom in sewing slowly, especially when the camera is not rolling.
I plan to keep learning and adjusting as I go. Maybe this mindful pace will bring deeper connection, or maybe it will simply bring peace. Either outcome is worth it as long as I dedicate myself to figuring out my true values.
My husband and family mean everything to me. Their warmth fills the house as the snow falls outside, and in that small, ordinary beauty, I find the reason to keep moving forward.
One Step at a Time Choosing to Avoid Avoiding
Deleting Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok was necessary for me to move forward. My intention is to focus on things that matter so much to me, like being outside. I still want to create content, but not if it gets in the way of living in the moment. Consistency is much more achievable now. I also don’t expect to become consistent overnight. Healing takes time.
To avoid avoiding means being willing to look at your patterns with clear eyes. I sometimes hide behind busyness that does not serve me. I need focused work that leads to a real sense of accomplishment.
Now I am choosing to face it all one step at a time. Maybe this decision will lead to more creativity, or maybe it will simply bring peace. For now, it feels right to move forward with less and see what unfolds.